flashback Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden) A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) A: What did your last slave die of? Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not.. oh forget it. ..... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions . Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? ( UK) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK) A: You're a British politician, right? Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany) A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? ( France) A: No, WE don't stink. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA) A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) A: Yes, gay nightclubs. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A: Only at Christmas. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA) A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macho Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 daži labi, bet kaut kad sen jau šito biju lasījis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANALGINS Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 mm nice jabrauc uz australiju XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cash^ Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 (edited) ROFL, labs p.s. defaultais amerikānis: Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) Edited August 27, 2007 by cash^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teddy Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking and Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not.. oh forget it. ..... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. Da BEST Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~ jeyna ~ Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 nebiju nekad šitos redzējis. diezgan perfekti. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DJ MUman Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 :superlol: No comment, too busy laughing. :superlol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
moby Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 bļa labs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonathan Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you've been drinking Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden) A: So it's true what they say about Swedes. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) A: Only at Christmas. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vincister Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 ahahaahaha labi noliek, inčīgi cik no to stulbo jautājumu uzdevējiem vispār saprot ka tiek čakarēti Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TI-83+ Silver Posted August 27, 2007 Report Share Posted August 27, 2007 Maaaan... un es martaa uz turieni gribu doties... es jau pirmajaa briidii cereeju, ka veel kaads GIGNietis brauc uz turieni kautkad. Buus laikam jaaieveertee hippo racing un kaa vienna boy choir bljaustiisies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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